What Was I Thinking? A Funny, Faithful Look at Marriage Communication and Rolling Prayer

An Almost-True Story from a Country Road

You know what they say — if you want to know how strong a marriage really is, just take a road trip together. Or better yet, start riding to church together in the same car.

That’s what Deni and Earl are learning now that they’ve moved out to the country. After 55 years of marriage (and counting), these two have traded city life for peaceful pastures and occasional potholes. Their new home opens up to a quiet hill not far from one of their grown children’s home. It’s got fresh air, tall pines, deer that walk around like they own the place, and just enough distance from town to keep things interesting.

But here's the thing: in the city, Deni and Earl used to take two cars just about everywhere. Church? Two cars. Grocery store? Two cars. A trip to the same restaurant at the same time? You guessed it—two cars were not uncommon.

But not anymore.

Now they ride together.

And that, dear reader, is where our story begins.

Buckled Up and Wide Open

On a sunny Saturday evening, as they rolled down the highway to Vigil Mass, Earl leaned back and sighed, “You know, Deni, I’ve been thinking about that homily last week. Do you want to know what I was thinking …”

Deni, sweet as sugar but sharp as a tack, didn’t even turn her head. She just smiled and said, “Honey, I love that you are a thinking man. But not every thought needs to come out your mouth. Some are best left at the altar of contemplation.”

Earl grinned. He knew exactly what his dear wife meant.

See, Earl really is a thinker. And a talker. But when he thinks while he’s talking, it gets...well, let’s say creative. Sometimes insightful. Sometimes confusing. Occasionally humorous (unintentionally).

But Deni? She’s wise. She knows the power of timing. She’s spent five decades helping her beloved Earl avoid stepping into life’s potholes — and a few, she let him fall into just so he’d learn.

But Earl and Deni do have a couple of tips about experiencing a holy marriage. They have modeled it for their (now adult) children, their grandchildren—and even, their great grandchildren. Below is our version of two of Deni and Earl’s favorite tips (at least, we think they are their favorite tips—they might have lots more).

Communication Tip #1:

Think before you talk. And maybe pray a little too.

The Bible puts it this way: “Even a fool, when he holds his peace, is counted wise.” (Proverbs 17:28)

That’s Scripture-speak for: “Shhh… let your thoughts marinate a little.”

In marriage — and any other close relationship — not every idea needs to be transformed into a monologue. Sometimes, the best words are the ones we speak after we’ve had a quiet moment with the Lord. Or at least a moment with a nice cup of coffee or herbal tea.

Communication Tip #2:

Listen like you love them.

Deni listens to Earl like she’s tuning a radio. Sometimes it’s clear, sometimes there’s static, but she never gives up and turns it off. That’s part of why their love has lasted — she listens with patience. And Earl? He does well simply not to push all the buttons at once.

Talking is good. But listening — real, loving, undistracted listening — that’s holy ground. That’s where holy marriages are fertilized and watered.

Rolling Prayer and Rolling Grace

Funny thing about those long car rides together: they give you time. Time to talk. Time to listen. Time to pray. Deni and Earl have discovered that riding together has not only simplified their travel, it’s enriched their spiritual lives.

They pray for neighbors they pass, friends from church, grandkids with big dreams, and yes — even the guy who passed them doing 75 in a 45.

The folks in their parish call it Rolling Prayer, and it’s becoming part of Deni and Earl’s daily rhythm.

What Was I Thinking?

So, Earl asked himself that question later that night. Not because he had said something foolish, but because he almost did. And in that quiet reflection — between Deni’s gentle nudge and the Lord’s quiet whisper — he realized that sometimes, saying less is the wiser path.

Our Story

That’s our story, folks and we’re sticking to it! We’re making our story about loving each other and loving those God puts around us (pray, love, serve) as a family. What’s your story going to be?

Vivat Jesus! He really does!